As I decend into madness.....

     I've been trying to prioritize things to keep myself running on some of the things I enjoy. Yes this list includes my artwork and video games and things that keep my mind active. Hopefully I'll start work at a decent paying job so I can further the progress of my hobbies so to speak. Yet I feel lost in my own world. I feel like I'm an accessory not so much as a part of the life I lead. This is causing ripples into things. Mostly a desire to go beyond normal means of things. My artwork is reflecting a lot of my desires and feelings yet there is a mash of who I am and who I was in those pieces. It may end up simply being nothing new and yet at the same time may become an integral part of my design process. I feel sad yet happy as art brings forth thought and hopefully one day this will all make sense.

You can kill yourself now because you're dead in my mind.

       Having a day, not good not bad. Just a day. It's a twisted world and I feel myself being drawn into my art once again. I'm working on my "Wonderland United" Project which I've been posting pieces to Artist and Madman and My Deviant art page as well I've been working on the story line and character sketches. I'm trying to go beyond wonderland and the mindset that it seems to get limited too. I'm trying not to let it turn to a giant shit pile of darkness and depression, but where I am in the story in my mind darkness is what is rolling in. So I keep looking to the darker recesses of the mind to bring forth what one would find in the dark depths of Wonderland to see what monsters will grow.
     My dreams lately have been filled with a lot of my own darkness so it's somewhat therapeutic to put this darkness into my work, but there are lingering and haunting thoughts. I keep trying to find a way for it to move forward and grow into an epic tale. Yet I find myself pushing out mountains of shadow with no light in sight. I'd like to say that Alice will be the beacon of light in this tale, but it seems she too will make some transitions to where she grows cold and dark before finding peace.
- William Dreimann