Would you love a monster man, could you understand beauty of the beast -

      Dreaming a lot lately as things just don't seem to be fitting into place. I'm trying to build up a positive self image, but it seems a lot like I'm staring into a void. An empty spinning vortex to another dimension and it's like I want to jump but I'm super glued to the ground. I am my own worst enemy and my own eternal monster of damnation.

Dream 4/22/13

    I must state I had the strangest dream in a while and yes I could feel which was cool the dream had the following elements I do not wish to share details, but wow...

• An argument over something strange
• A woman walk in a give me a blow job which lead to a very strange way of having sex
• A 3D like state of imagery
• N v J as I like to call it.

- William Dreimann

4/16/2013 The Emotional Wall and the pain

     I'll admit I'm not one for sharing emotion I've always seen it as an open sign of weakness. I have though been replaying parts of Pink Floyd's the wall over and over again in my mind and feel that the wall I have up maybe the cause of some of my personal despair.

4/12/13 A Dream and some twisted thoughts

      I had a strange ass dream last night and for some reason feel compelled to share what I can recall of this madness. The basic plot seemed to be a fight over some strange slinky like toy but I can't recall why anyone wanted these things. Here are the other details I can recall in no particular order...

• My high school art teacher lived in a room which looked like the containment room of the ghostbuster building but it had two large buttons that had a sign that read "when all hope is lost press both buttons to escape"
• The dream took place in this house that I keep dreaming about It's not quite a mansion but it's built like something of the sort. There are secret entrances and things are not always as they seem.
• The main room I kept ending up in had spinning walls that basically changed the room drastically. IE from toy shelves to book cases to wine casks.
• There were slots in the ceiling and floors that toys kept falling through and for some reason I did not want the noisy toys to make any sounds as they would give my position away. Yet everyone knew where I was.
• There was a tower that for some reason only I could climb and it was full of porn. I couldn't focus on the images but for some reason I knew it was porn.

That's what I can recall of this twisted little world in my brain. Part of me seems to want to understand and focus on more of the detail while the other half of my brain wants to understand the story of what's going on better.

     I think it's finally happened that my eccentricities have taken over my thoughts when I'm sleeping so I hope my dreams grow more and more vivid. (if not at least have some of the vivid girls available) I ponder my inner thoughts a bit too much and yet am trying to clear my mental cobwebs so I can function like an average member of society.

- William Dreimann

4/11/13 - A day in the life of madness

     I've got this compulsion to write out my thoughts since my journal has been packed away to clear up clutter I've decided to blog some of my insane ideas. No this will not quite be as insane as my journal, but it may help clear up and organize my thoughts as of lately. I know what I post to an online source is like screaming it to the world so I'll try to put a filter on some things.
     I've been lost in my own head for a couple years now. I've got things I want to do, things I need to do and things that just aren't working so I'm trying to clean it up so I function.
Things I want to do:

• Learn to tattoo - Yeah I'm somewhat of an artist and I'm great with certain types of media but I'd love for someone to be wearing my art. Thankfully I have got someone thus far with an image I drew up on their skin.
• Get a job that allows my creativity to flow - Yeah this is more of a dream ideal but still sometimes you find inspiration in the strangest places.

These are the primary thoughts that have been running rampant. I would go into other aspects of things, but I don't want to post all my thoughts to the world. I'd love though to get my artwork out there. I think I'll spend some time with my scanner today and see how much more I can build of a gallery to add to this little blog so maybe I can set up a portable viewable portfolio that is much nicer than my sketchbook and easier to show people.

    I'm not too sure how public I plan to make this blog or if I'm even going to give out the url for people to reply and share thoughts with me as well I'm not sure I even want them to.